Patchy – Chemo is scary

Patchy squished in bed

The pharmacy (based in Arizona) called today to collect shipping and billing information.  I was informed that her medication will arrive in 3-6 days, in a refrigerated shipping case.  With little dots that will change color is the medication didn’t stay cold enough.  Thats pretty intense.  To make it scarier, the oncologist emailed me her chemo instructions.

Patchy’s urine and bodily fluids will now be considered hazardous waste.  “Use gloves to clean up”.  I guess since, for all intents and purposes, she will be taking radiation.  Its starting to become real to me, and scary.  I’m starting to second guess my decision.  All I can do is hope it helps.  And if it doesn’t, we’ll stop the medication.

On the one hand, I know the treatment options are limited and have mixed success, but on the other hand, I feel like if I don’t try something, I’m failing her.  My hope is that this will have mild or no side effects.  The thought is that its such a low dose, that there shouldn’t be any side effects, but there is a potential chance for some serious stomach upset.

I still foolishly hope she’ll get better.  But I need to recognize that option isn’t on the table.  We can manage her discomfort, maybe prolong her life by a few months, but the diagnosis is terminal.

Her Chemo Discharge.


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