Patchy – hope diminishing

Patchy sharing a bed with her Mom, she's ~9 months old here

Patchy sharing a bed with her Mom, she’s ~9 months old here

This is going to be a more depressing post.  I apologize.

The renewed interest in food was brief.  She is still eating better but not enough.  She’s getting maybe a can a day.  She tends to eat a little at least.  But not as much as that first day.  Some of it is pickiness (she seems to prefer the not soupy variety), but some of it is depression/lack of interest/lack of appetite.

She is pretty depressed most days.  Even going to work no longer cheers her up like it used to.  And Clover still provides stimulus, but greatly diminished.  Today was especially hard for me.  She was having trouble walking, slipping and sliding her legs out from under her.  Staying standing is proving tricky, and walking is very sway/tetter-tottery.

Her water intake, which had been phenomenal, is also becoming noticeably less.  Accidents no longer worry me, everything else is deteriorating before my eyes.

I’ll preface this my saying I’ve been averaging 4-6 hrs of sleep most nights (some due to Patchy, some due to other things [Clover, and a false smoke alarm]), which means I’m at a point of emotional vulnerability.  Maybe I’m overreacting or reading too much into this, but I’m thinking it might be time to finish off the bucket list and say goodbyes.

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